age and wisdom

okay, I’ll admit it. I think I may be a little freaked out about turning 40. Not in a ‘I’m getting so old’ kinda way (I’ve never worried about age like that, or felt weird with people older or younger then me), but more in a ‘what have I accomplished? How well am I living my life?’ kinda way.

As great as it is, my life is nothing like I imagined it would be. That’s both good and hard (it’s also not unique). Good, because I’ve had all sorts of experiences and been introduced to all sorts of things and people and places I never could have thought of back then. Hard, because its tough to feel like you’ve let yourself down, or just weren’t good/smart/talented enough to make things happen.

There's no way around it. The list of possibilities for my ‘future’ are shrinking - or rather, they’re changing. Certain things I expected to have accomplished and achieved are likely out of my grasp now. Not all of them, no ... and there are new goals that can be set, for sure. 

So, let’s change gears here and focus on the fun part of turning 40! I've been giving some thought to how I’d like to mark the occasion. A while back, my friend Susan and I were sharing notes about things we wanted to do in our 40th years. A few emails back and forth and we had the makings of a good idea ... each of us would create a list of 10 things we wanted to do over the next year (and a bit). Attainable and fun things, experiences that we really want to have.

I’m a fan of lists. Understatement - I’m a HUGE fan of lists. This one has been a bit challenging, though. I'm used to writing lists that are more bent on improvement or addressing things I want to change. Just focusing on fun things that are realistic and measurable (and able to be achieved in the next short while) is surprsingly difficult. So much so, that I determined that there needs to be room for additions and deletions. I've got a while before my birthday, and then the year after to complete it all - so I can only guess that my mind will change! For now, here's my list ... edits more then likely to follow!


10 things to experience in my 40th year 

1. Create a piece of glass art that I'm happy with, without any hands-on help from Melody
2. Visit India
3. Compete in the Hood to Coast race
4. SCUBA in tropical waters at least twice (Monterey kelp forest is an exception to one tropical trip)
5. Long Weekends away in: NYC, Chicago, Boston (SF & Vancoucver??)
6. Shoot, edit, print, frame and hang a collection of 10+ photos
7. Bungee or skydive
8. Eat at French Laundry (SF), Atelier (Ottawa), and TBD in NYC and Montreal.
9. Music - See live music every month ... at home and away 
10. I'd like to add something about writing, just need to figure out how to make it meaningful and measurable.
11. *Spend a night at Harbin -   Jasmine cottage  
12. *Swim with bio-luminescent plankton at night. 
13. *Snowboarding next winter: BC Interior or Smugglers Notch, Jay Peak and Le Massif

(*Let's just say I'm over achieving, rather then indecisive, okay?)

There's a lot of travel related things on this list. Truth be told, I could easily make a list of 150 things that are entirely travel related, and they all rate as pretty important. Seeing and experiencing the world has emerged as a real beacon for me, I look forward to being more active in making it a part of my life.

Here's to fun, lists, celebration and crossing things off.